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It was like Satan and Jesus got together and had a chat about just how to make the most lovely shirt ever and then they made it. Jesus also did push ups to highlight his upper body strength. Satan tried to not be impressed. But inside, he was.

Hannah C.
'Let's Summon Demons' Ringer Shirt

It appears safe. I have yet to find any sign of wire tapping from the Government. I will continue my search. Pro: I am able to let "The Man" know I'm onto him while still looking snazzy. Con: Does not come with aluminum hood to shield my thoughts from aliens.

Emmeline P.
'Conspiracy Theories' SHIRT

Pros: great fit, really eye-catching, comfy, looks sick. Cons: things around me randomly burst into flames.

Renae R.
'Pyrokinesis for Beginners'
Ringer Shirt

The soft fabric and relaxed fit of this shirt will allow me to focus on recruitment of new followers and exertion of milieu control over them. The shirt is perfect for hiding in plain sight while I build my empire of control.

Hannah C.
'Let's Start a Cult' Shirt