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Whatever is about to happen is going to be, frankly, the frog's business and the mace's business.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who keep a \"do not disturb\" grudge list in their heart at all times.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":43144372060217,"sku":"WC-MIFTW-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":43144372092985,"sku":"WC-MIFTW-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":43144372125753,"sku":"WC-MIFTW-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":43144372158521,"sku":"WC-MIFTW-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":43144372191289,"sku":"WC-MIFTW-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Mercy_Is_For_The_Weak_Shirt.jpg?v=1777390917"},{"product_id":"god-is-testing-me-shirt","title":"'God Is Testing Me' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe raccoon has received the assignment, reviewed the material, and declined. 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This is between you, God, and the raccoon now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose response to any challenge is \"absolutely not, but thanks.\"\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":43460252467257,"sku":"WC-GODISTESTINGME-SHIRT-SM","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":43460252500025,"sku":"WC-GODISTESTINGME-SHIRT-MD","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":43460252532793,"sku":"WC-GODISTESTINGME-SHIRT-LG","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":43460252565561,"sku":"WC-GODISTESTINGME-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":43460252598329,"sku":"WC-GODISTESTINGME-SHIRT-2X","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/God_Is_Testing_Me_Shirt.jpg?v=1777390915"},{"product_id":"it-is-what-it-is-shirt","title":"'It Is What It Is' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eAcceptance is the final stage of grief. 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It's the shirt equivalent of smiling through a disaster, and honestly, people will relate to it harder than they'd like to admit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eEverything's terrible. Buy yourself a treat.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":43460299358265,"sku":"WC-ITISWHATITIS-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":43460299391033,"sku":"WC-ITISWHATITIS-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":43460299423801,"sku":"WC-ITISWHATITIS-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":43460299456569,"sku":"WC-ITISWHATITIS-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":43460299489337,"sku":"WC-ITISWHATITIS-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/It_Is_What_It_Is_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385155"},{"product_id":"no-gods-no-masters-shirt","title":"'No Gods, No Masters' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\"No gods, no masters\" is a classic. 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Embrace honk. 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Wear it to brunch. Wear it to a protest. Wear it to therapy. It works everywhere because feelings work everywhere. Especially the ones you probably should have dealt with sooner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eNow channel those feelings in to buying this shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":43549727227961,"sku":"WC-BOTTLEUPFEELINGS-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":43549727260729,"sku":"WC-BOTTLEUPFEELINGS-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":43549727293497,"sku":"WC-BOTTLEUPFEELINGS-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":43549727326265,"sku":"WC-BOTTLEUPFEELINGS-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":43549727359033,"sku":"WC-BOTTLEUPFEELINGS-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Bottle_Up_Your_Feelings_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385133"},{"product_id":"yeah-no-shirt","title":"'Yeah, No' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eClassic frog stew visual. 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You will say it again before the end of the week.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose default response to anything is \"no, totally, all good.\"\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624169041977,"sku":"44624169041977","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624169074745,"sku":"44624169074745","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624169107513,"sku":"44624169107513","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624169140281,"sku":"44624169140281","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624169173049,"sku":"44624169173049","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Yeah_No_Shirt.jpg?v=1777390934"},{"product_id":"be-kind-of-annoying-shirt","title":"'Be Kind Of Annoying' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eNot a lot annoying. 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The option to become a crab remains open.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624172023865,"sku":"44624172023865","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624172056633,"sku":"WC-HUMANITYCRAB-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624172089401,"sku":"WC-HUMANITYCRAB-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624172122169,"sku":"WC-HUMANITYCRAB-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624172154937,"sku":"WC-HUMANITYCRAB-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Abandon_My_Humanity_Shirt.jpg?v=1777406127"},{"product_id":"taking-my-leave-shirt","title":"'Taking My Leave' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eYou said the weird thing. Everyone heard it. Now it's time to go. If you've ever texted \"sorry if that was weird\" more than once in a week, this shirt is already yours spiritually — you're just making it official. People will read it and immediately think of a specific moment in their own life. That's how you know it works.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eYou've made it awkward. Might as well memorialize it with a shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624173891641,"sku":"WC-TAKINGMYLEAVE-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624173924409,"sku":"WC-TAKINGMYLEAVE-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624173957177,"sku":"WC-TAKINGMYLEAVE-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624173989945,"sku":"WC-TAKINGMYLEAVE-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624174022713,"sku":"WC-TAKINGMYLEAVE-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Taking_My_Leave_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385189"},{"product_id":"howdy-dickheads-shirt","title":"'Howdy, Dickheads' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe frog arrives on the scene with a cowboy hat, a cactus, and a greeting. The greeting is technically hostile. The frog is affectionate about it. In the frog's world, \"dickheads\" is the honorific you use for the people you actually like. The frog knows its audience. You, reading this, have been greeted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose close friends get roasted daily, and who consider that the highest form of devotion.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624177299513,"sku":"WC-HOWDYDICKHEADS-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624177332281,"sku":"WC-HOWDYDICKHEADS-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624177365049,"sku":"WC-HOWDYDICKHEADS-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624177397817,"sku":"WC-HOWDYDICKHEADS-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624177430585,"sku":"WC-HOWDYDICKHEADS-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Howdy_Dickheads_Shirt.jpg?v=1777417445"},{"product_id":"reject-modernity-shirt","title":"'Reject Modernity' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eModernity wanted you in an ergonomic chair with a skincare routine and a retirement plan. The goblin proposed an alternative: a hole, a weird object, and no responsibilities. The goblin won. The rest of us are just catching up. Ergonomics are out. Being a little creature is in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose ideal evening involves a hoard and some gentle cackling.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624183820345,"sku":"WC-REJECTMODERNITY-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624183853113,"sku":"WC-REJECTMODERNITY-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624183885881,"sku":"WC-REJECTMODERNITY-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624183918649,"sku":"WC-REJECTMODERNITY-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624183951417,"sku":"WC-REJECTMODERNITY-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Reject_Modernity_Shirt.jpg?v=1777390921"},{"product_id":"yes-im-creative-shirt","title":"'Yes, I'm Creative' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe opossum paints. It sculpts. More notably, it's an absolute genius at generating new personal catastrophes where none previously existed. Some call it a curse. The opossum prefers \"art practice.\" Its latest work is a complicated situation no one asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose creative output is mostly just handmade chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624184967225,"sku":"WC-YESIMCREATIVE-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624184999993,"sku":"WC-YESIMCREATIVE-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624185032761,"sku":"WC-YESIMCREATIVE-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624185065529,"sku":"WC-YESIMCREATIVE-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624185098297,"sku":"WC-YESIMCREATIVE-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Yes_I_m_Creative_Shirt.jpg?v=1777390936"},{"product_id":"got-that-dog-shirt","title":"'Got That Dog' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\"Got that dog in me\" is a bold claim from someone whose top speed maxes out at 0.2 mph.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis design gets you: the grindset energy of a creature that takes 45 minutes to cross a yard. If you've ever described yourself as \"motivated\" while still in bed at 2pm, this is your shirt. Expect people to read it, look at the turtle, and laugh harder than they expected to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eYou'll get to the checkout eventually. No rush.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712783183929,"sku":"WC-GOTTHATDOG-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712783216697,"sku":"WC-GOTTHATDOG-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712783249465,"sku":"WC-GOTTHATDOG-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712783282233,"sku":"WC-GOTTHATDOG-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712783315001,"sku":"WC-GOTTHATDOG-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Got_That_Dog_Shirt_bdc482be-3242-42a8-904a-f441dc3cc111.jpg?v=1777385593"},{"product_id":"fake-your-death-shirt","title":"'Fake Your Death' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eOpossums have been doing this for millennia. Play dead, the predator loses interest, life continues. This opossum has updated the technique for modern threats: get hit by a car, become legally undead, transcend bureaucracy. An elegant solution. Full commitment to the bit. A masterclass in dodging your responsibilities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose fight-or-flight response skipped both and went straight to opossum protocol.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712783347769,"sku":"WC-FAKEYOURDEATH-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712783380537,"sku":"WC-FAKEYOURDEATH-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712783413305,"sku":"WC-FAKEYOURDEATH-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712783446073,"sku":"WC-FAKEYOURDEATH-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712783478841,"sku":"WC-FAKEYOURDEATH-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Fake_Your_Death_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385142"},{"product_id":"may-be-dumb-shirt","title":"'May Be Dumb' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThe most honest thing you'll wear all week. There's a confidence to admitting this publicly. It's disarming, it's stupid in the best way, and you already know at least three people in your life who need one too.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eYou may be dumb. But you're not too dumb to hit add to cart.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712783544377,"sku":"WC-MAYBEDUMB-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712783577145,"sku":"WC-MAYBEDUMB-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712783609913,"sku":"WC-MAYBEDUMB-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712783642681,"sku":"WC-MAYBEDUMB-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712783675449,"sku":"WC-MAYBEDUMB-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/May_Be_Dumb_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385164"},{"product_id":"overstepped-my-boundaries-shirt","title":"'Overstepped My Boundaries' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe goose has crossed a line. The goose is aware of this. Rather than apologize, the goose has decided to frame the incident as \"being a silly goose.\" Everyone knows what the goose did. The goose's defense is disarmingly cute. Somehow, it's going to work. It always does.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose go-to apology is \"oopsie\" and who have weaponized being harmless-looking.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712783708217,"sku":"WC-OVERSTEPPEDBOUNDARIES-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712783740985,"sku":"WC-OVERSTEPPEDBOUNDARIES-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712783773753,"sku":"WC-OVERSTEPPEDBOUNDARIES-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712783806521,"sku":"WC-OVERSTEPPEDBOUNDARIES-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712783839289,"sku":"WC-OVERSTEPPEDBOUNDARIES-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Overstepped_My_Boundaries_Shirt.jpg?v=1777402610"},{"product_id":"failure-is-an-option-shirt","title":"'Failure Is An Option' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe word NOT is crossed out. 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Nobody can say you didn't show up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who understand that showing up is 80% of the battle, and that's where we stopped counting.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712784724025,"sku":"WC-FAILUREISANOPTION-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712784756793,"sku":"WC-FAILUREISANOPTION-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712784789561,"sku":"WC-FAILUREISANOPTION-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712784822329,"sku":"WC-FAILUREISANOPTION-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712784855097,"sku":"WC-FAILUREISANOPTION-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Failure_Is_An_Option_Shirt.jpg?v=1777390910"},{"product_id":"shackles-of-society-shirt","title":"'Shackles of Society' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe crab is philosophically correct. It has identified the chains. The crab, tragically, is still clipped by the claw, still at the seafood counter, still very much in the system. Freedom is a concept the crab understands intellectually and will not be achieving today. Same, honestly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who are working within a structure they do not respect, because alternatives are limited.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712785051705,"sku":"WC-SHACKLESOFSOCIETY-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712785084473,"sku":"WC-SHACKLESOFSOCIETY-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712785117241,"sku":"WC-SHACKLESOFSOCIETY-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712785150009,"sku":"WC-SHACKLESOFSOCIETY-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712785182777,"sku":"WC-SHACKLESOFSOCIETY-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Shackles_of_Society_Shirt.jpg?v=1777417449"},{"product_id":"thanks-your-honor-shirt","title":"'Thanks Your Honor' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe frog is in court. It's been found guilty. Rather than fight the ruling, the frog has offered a quick apology: sincere in tone, suspicious in detail, and almost certainly a lie. The court knows. The frog knows the court knows. Everyone is being very polite about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose apologies have a certain wink-and-nod quality, for reasons they'd rather not get into.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712785215545,"sku":"WC-THANKSYOURHONOR-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712785248313,"sku":"WC-THANKSYOURHONOR-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712785281081,"sku":"WC-THANKSYOURHONOR-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712785313849,"sku":"WC-THANKSYOURHONOR-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712785346617,"sku":"WC-THANKSYOURHONOR-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Thanks_Your_Honor_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385191"},{"product_id":"botched-the-ritual-shirt","title":"'Botched The Ritual' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou followed the instructions. Mostly. The candles were correct. The chant was approximately right. What emerged is fine, honestly. It has teeth. It answers when you call. It's polite. A little snaggle-fanged around the edges. Not what was promised but you've grown attached.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSilly guys do silly rituals. The important thing is that you tried.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712785379385,"sku":"44712785379385","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712785412153,"sku":"44712785412153","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712785444921,"sku":"44712785444921","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712785477689,"sku":"44712785477689","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712785510457,"sku":"44712785510457","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Botched_The_Ritual_Shirt.jpg?v=1777402594"},{"product_id":"reject-humanity-shirt","title":"'Reject Humanity' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe plan is simple. Phase one: humanity. Phase two: crab. This creature is between phases, already convinced of the direction. Everything humans do is exhausting. Everything crabs do is walking sideways and vibing. The crab phase is clearly the upgrade. Get in while the molting is good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who have done the math and found crabs doing better at this.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712785739833,"sku":"WC-REJECTHUMANITY-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712785772601,"sku":"WC-REJECTHUMANITY-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712785805369,"sku":"WC-REJECTHUMANITY-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712785838137,"sku":"WC-REJECTHUMANITY-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712785870905,"sku":"WC-REJECTHUMANITY-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Reject_Humanity_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385179"},{"product_id":"wrong-ice-ringer-shirt","title":"'Wrong ICE' Ringer Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eOne kind of ice is at risk. Another kind of ICE is not. This is a deliberate pun with a clear political position, delivered via a polar bear. The polar bear does not mince words. The polar bear has an opinion about climate policy AND immigration policy and you are going to hear both.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who see the connection and would also like to say the quiet part loud.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712786231353,"sku":"44712786231353","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712786264121,"sku":"44712786264121","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712786296889,"sku":"44712786296889","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712786329657,"sku":"44712786329657","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712786362425,"sku":"44712786362425","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Wrong_ICE_Ringer_Shirt.jpg?v=1777412225"},{"product_id":"abolish-ice-shirt","title":"'Abolish ICE' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThe message is clear. The delivery is a little demon with a pitchfork. You already know where you stand on this. You don't need convincing, you need the shirt. It says what you'd say, but cuter, and without getting into a debate at Thanksgiving.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eYou were going to wear your politics anyway. 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