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Whatever is about to happen is going to be, frankly, the frog's business and the mace's business.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who keep a \"do not disturb\" grudge list in their heart at all times.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":43144372060217,"sku":"WC-MIFTW-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":43144372092985,"sku":"WC-MIFTW-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":43144372125753,"sku":"WC-MIFTW-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":43144372158521,"sku":"WC-MIFTW-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":43144372191289,"sku":"WC-MIFTW-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Mercy_Is_For_The_Weak_Shirt.jpg?v=1777390917"},{"product_id":"god-is-testing-me-shirt","title":"'God Is Testing Me' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe raccoon has received the assignment, reviewed the material, and declined. 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This is between you, God, and the raccoon now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose response to any challenge is \"absolutely not, but thanks.\"\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":43460252467257,"sku":"WC-GODISTESTINGME-SHIRT-SM","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":43460252500025,"sku":"WC-GODISTESTINGME-SHIRT-MD","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":43460252532793,"sku":"WC-GODISTESTINGME-SHIRT-LG","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":43460252565561,"sku":"WC-GODISTESTINGME-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":43460252598329,"sku":"WC-GODISTESTINGME-SHIRT-2X","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/God_Is_Testing_Me_Shirt.jpg?v=1777390915"},{"product_id":"it-is-what-it-is-shirt","title":"'It Is What It Is' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eAcceptance is the final stage of grief. 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Buy yourself a treat.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":43460299358265,"sku":"WC-ITISWHATITIS-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":43460299391033,"sku":"WC-ITISWHATITIS-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":43460299423801,"sku":"WC-ITISWHATITIS-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":43460299456569,"sku":"WC-ITISWHATITIS-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":43460299489337,"sku":"WC-ITISWHATITIS-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/It_Is_What_It_Is_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385155"},{"product_id":"no-gods-no-masters-shirt","title":"'No Gods, No Masters' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\"No gods, no masters\" is a classic. 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Wear it to brunch. Wear it to a protest. Wear it to therapy. It works everywhere because feelings work everywhere. Especially the ones you probably should have dealt with sooner.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eNow channel those feelings in to buying this shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":43549727227961,"sku":"WC-BOTTLEUPFEELINGS-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":43549727260729,"sku":"WC-BOTTLEUPFEELINGS-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":43549727293497,"sku":"WC-BOTTLEUPFEELINGS-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":43549727326265,"sku":"WC-BOTTLEUPFEELINGS-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":43549727359033,"sku":"WC-BOTTLEUPFEELINGS-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Bottle_Up_Your_Feelings_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385133"},{"product_id":"save-me-a-seat-shirt","title":"'Save Me A Seat' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe goose is not optimistic about the afterlife placement. 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You'll be there anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who are already planning the logistics of the bad place.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624162259001,"sku":"44624162259001","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624162291769,"sku":"44624162291769","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624162324537,"sku":"44624162324537","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624162357305,"sku":"44624162357305","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624162390073,"sku":"44624162390073","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Save_Me_A_Seat_Shirt_2.jpg?v=1778187074"},{"product_id":"yeah-no-shirt","title":"'Yeah, No' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eClassic frog stew visual. 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The cat also knows what it actually wants to say.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose out-of-office replies have been workshopped for maximum passive aggression.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624171008057,"sku":"44624171008057","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624171040825,"sku":"44624171040825","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624171073593,"sku":"44624171073593","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624171106361,"sku":"44624171106361","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624171139129,"sku":"44624171139129","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/To_Whom_It_May_Concern_Shirt_2_-_flat_lay.jpg?v=1778187877"},{"product_id":"full-of-microplastics-shirt","title":"'Full of Microplastics' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe frog is cute and also 12% plastic by volume. Same as you. Same as every living thing that has consumed food or breathed air in the last forty years. The existential dread is a bonus feature that ships with the microplastics. You didn't sign up for either but here you both are: lightly contaminated, holding it together, being adorable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who have accepted the bioaccumulation and are choosing to remain charming.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624176185401,"sku":"44624176185401","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624176218169,"sku":"44624176218169","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624176250937,"sku":"44624176250937","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624176283705,"sku":"44624176283705","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624176316473,"sku":"44624176316473","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Full_of_Microplastics_Shirt.jpg?v=1777402602"},{"product_id":"a-silly-goose-shirt","title":"'A Silly Goose' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis goose used to be silly. Then the economy happened. Now the goose has reading glasses, a newspaper subscription, and is tracking macro indicators instead of chasing bread crumbs. This goose doesn't have time to be silly any more, this goose has obligations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor everyone who's still a silly goose at heart, even if they have too many responsibilities right now to let it show.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624176775225,"sku":"44624176775225","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624176807993,"sku":"44624176807993","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624176840761,"sku":"44624176840761","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624176873529,"sku":"44624176873529","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624176906297,"sku":"44624176906297","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/A_Silly_Goose_Shirt.jpg?v=1777402589"},{"product_id":"howdy-dickheads-shirt","title":"'Howdy, Dickheads' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe frog arrives on the scene with a cowboy hat, a cactus, and a greeting. The greeting is technically hostile. The frog is affectionate about it. In the frog's world, \"dickheads\" is the honorific you use for the people you actually like. The frog knows its audience. 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