{"title":"Animals","description":"","products":[{"product_id":"born-criminal-shirt","title":"'Born Criminal' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThat mask! Those dexterous little hands! This raccoon was engineered by nature itself to commit minor crimes and nobody is going to convince it otherwise. Every garbage can is a bank vault. Every unattended porch package is a heist in progress. You've been rooting for the raccoon the whole time and you know it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSolidarity with the trash panda industrial complex.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"150+ SOLD RECENTLY","offers":[{"title":"X-Small","offer_id":39482698858553,"sku":"WC-BORNCRIMINAL-SHIRT-XS","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Small","offer_id":39482698891321,"sku":"WC-BORNCRIMINAL-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":39482698924089,"sku":"WC-BORNCRIMINAL-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":39482698956857,"sku":"WC-BORNCRIMINAL-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":39482698989625,"sku":"WC-BORNCRIMINAL-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":39482699022393,"sku":"WC-BORNCRIMINAL-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Born_Criminal_Shirt.jpg?v=1777406130"},{"product_id":"live-fast-eat-trash-shirt","title":"'Live Fast, Eat Trash' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe raccoon has achieved the dream. Zero responsibility, infinite snacks, aesthetic rebellion built in from birth. Sunglasses at night because reasons. A pink backdrop because sure. Nobody teaches you how to live fast and eat trash. The raccoon came out of the womb already doing it. You've been learning from the master.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who have always felt a deep, unspoken kinship with the creature tipping over your neighbor's bin at 3am.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"500+ SOLD RECENTLY","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":39760383836217,"sku":"WC-LFET-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":39760383868985,"sku":"WC-LFET-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":39760383901753,"sku":"WC-LFET-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":39760383934521,"sku":"WC-LFET-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":39760383967289,"sku":"WC-LFET-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Live_Fast_Eat_Trash_Shirt_bcb2b62c-cf6b-46a7-8d09-013b7595756d.jpg?v=1777937684"},{"product_id":"catana-shirt","title":"'Catana' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eCat plus katana equals catana. The math checks out. This cat has spent all nine of its lives training, arriving now in full tactical regalia, ready to defend the sanctity of the afternoon nap at a moment's notice. The katana is not decorative. The cat knows kata. Respect it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe sharpest blade in the house is now the one looking at you for treats.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"200+ SOLD RECENTLY","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":39760396124217,"sku":"WC-CATANA-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":39760396156985,"sku":"WC-CATANA-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":39760396189753,"sku":"WC-CATANA-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":39760396222521,"sku":"WC-CATANA-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":39760396255289,"sku":"WC-CATANA-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Catana_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385138"},{"product_id":"spooky-boop-shirt","title":"'Spooky Boop' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eNot even death can stop you from booping the cat. That's commitment. That's devotion. This is the Sistine Chapel ceiling for people who think Renaissance art peaked too early and needed more cats. It's simple, it's clean, and it will make every cat person you encounter look at your chest and silently nod in solidarity.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eBoop the nose. Buy the shirt. In whatever order feels right.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"500+ SOLD RECENTLY","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":39814329401401,"sku":"WC-SPOOKYBOOP-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":39814329434169,"sku":"WC-SPOOKYBOOP-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":39814329466937,"sku":"WC-SPOOKYBOOP-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":39814329499705,"sku":"WC-SPOOKYBOOP-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":39814329532473,"sku":"WC-SPOOKYBOOP-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Spooky_Boop_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385186"},{"product_id":"forbidden-cats-shirt","title":"'Forbidden Cats' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eIf you've ever looked at a raccoon going through a dumpster and thought \"I could fix him,\" this shirt was made for you. It's for the people who root for the weird ones: the trash pandas, the possums, the creatures that society gave up on but you'd absolutely let sleep on your couch. People will see this shirt and immediately know you're a safe person to talk to about the possum that lives under their porch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eOpen your heart. Open your cart. Buy this shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"400+ SOLD RECENTLY","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":40147664076857,"sku":"WC-FORBIDDENCATS-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":40147664109625,"sku":"WC-FORBIDDENCATS-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":40147664142393,"sku":"WC-FORBIDDENCATS-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":40147664175161,"sku":"WC-FORBIDDENCATS-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":40147664207929,"sku":"WC-FORBIDDENCATS-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Forbidden_Cats_Shirt.jpg?v=1777390912"},{"product_id":"giddy-up-shirt","title":"'Giddy Up' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eAn opossum in a cowboy hat. That's the whole deal. No further context is needed. The opossum has made a decision about who it is now, and it is cowboy. Mount up. Mosey on. There are trash cans to investigate out west.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who are ready to ride into the sunset at approximately opossum speed.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"150+ SOLD RECENTLY","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":40398636974137,"sku":"WC-GIDDYUP-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":40398637006905,"sku":"WC-GIDDYUP-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":40398637039673,"sku":"WC-GIDDYUP-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":40398637072441,"sku":"WC-GIDDYUP-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":40398637105209,"sku":"WC-GIDDYUP-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Giddy_Up_Shirt.jpg?v=1777408270"},{"product_id":"work-is-trash-shirt","title":"'Work Is Trash' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe opossum has found a corner office. The rent is zero. The view is a loading dock. The opossum is salaried in scraps and is, frankly, crushing it. You will not see the opossum for the rest of the day. The opossum is in meetings, supposedly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose \"working from home\" is going great, thanks for asking.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"150+ SOLD RECENTLY","offers":[{"title":"X-Small","offer_id":41043044958265,"sku":"WC-WORKISTRASH-SHIRT-XS","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Small","offer_id":41043044991033,"sku":"WC-WORKISTRASH-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":41043045023801,"sku":"WC-WORKISTRASH-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":41043045056569,"sku":"WC-WORKISTRASH-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":41043045089337,"sku":"WC-WORKISTRASH-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":41043045122105,"sku":"WC-WORKISTRASH-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Work_Is_Trash_Shirt.jpg?v=1777754541"},{"product_id":"hell-wont-take-me-shirt","title":"'Hell Won't Take Me' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis goose is too much. He's been rejected from the underworld on behavioral grounds. Picture the conversation: \"Sir, this is not about your sins, it's about your vibe.\" The goose returns to the mortal plane, emboldened, to continue the reign of terror. Your dog park is not ready.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who will not go silently into that good night.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"300+ SOLD RECENTLY","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":41276436971577,"sku":"WC-WONTTAKEME-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":41276437004345,"sku":"WC-WONTTAKEME-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":41276437037113,"sku":"WC-WONTTAKEME-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":41276437069881,"sku":"WC-WONTTAKEME-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":41276437102649,"sku":"WC-WONTTAKEME-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Hell_Won_t_Take_Me_Flat_Lay.jpg?v=1779374244"},{"product_id":"trash-talker-shirt","title":"'Trash Talker' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eMotivational speaking has a new voice. The raccoon did not get that job, the raccoon cannot even apply, the raccoon is, technically, literally in a garbage can. None of this has stopped the raccoon. The raccoon's motto is a pun that you have to respect. The raccoon believes. That's the whole program.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose can-do attitude is so powerful it works in reverse.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"300+ SOLD RECENTLY","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":41292686491705,"sku":"WC-TRASHTALKER-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":41292686524473,"sku":"WC-TRASHTALKER-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":41292686557241,"sku":"WC-TRASHTALKER-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":41292686590009,"sku":"WC-TRASHTALKER-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":41292686622777,"sku":"WC-TRASHTALKER-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Trash_Talker_Shirt_482603e9-b68e-4263-a472-4025d1fec381.jpg?v=1777412207"},{"product_id":"wake-for-vengeance-shirt","title":"'Wake For Vengeance' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eCoffee alone does not get this skeleton out of bed. Deadlines, meetings, and obligations: ignored. But a wrong requiring correction? Instantly conscious. The chainsaw is charged. The grudge is catalogued. Vengeance has always been a better alarm clock than ambition.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose productivity spikes immediately after someone wrongs them.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":43144361738297,"sku":"WC-WAKEFORVENGE-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":43144361771065,"sku":"WC-WAKEFORVENGE-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":43144361803833,"sku":"WC-WAKEFORVENGE-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":43144361836601,"sku":"WC-WAKEFORVENGE-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":43144361869369,"sku":"WC-WAKEFORVENGE-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Wake_For_Vengeance_Shirt.jpg?v=1777408285"},{"product_id":"mercy-is-for-the-weak-shirt","title":"'Mercy Is For The Weak' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eA frog. A mace. A clear philosophical position. The frog has considered its options and decided it will not be showing mercy today. The frog is serene about this. The mace is ready. Whatever is about to happen is going to be, frankly, the frog's business and the mace's business.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who keep a \"do not disturb\" grudge list in their heart at all times.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":43144372060217,"sku":"WC-MIFTW-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":43144372092985,"sku":"WC-MIFTW-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":43144372125753,"sku":"WC-MIFTW-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":43144372158521,"sku":"WC-MIFTW-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":43144372191289,"sku":"WC-MIFTW-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Mercy_Is_For_The_Weak_Shirt.jpg?v=1777390917"},{"product_id":"god-is-testing-me-shirt","title":"'God Is Testing Me' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe raccoon has received the assignment, reviewed the material, and declined. There is a textbook present. There is studying that could be done. The raccoon has chosen to lie flat and give up preemptively instead. God will respect the commitment. This is between you, God, and the raccoon now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose response to any challenge is \"absolutely not, but thanks.\"\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":43460252467257,"sku":"WC-GODISTESTINGME-SHIRT-SM","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":43460252500025,"sku":"WC-GODISTESTINGME-SHIRT-MD","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":43460252532793,"sku":"WC-GODISTESTINGME-SHIRT-LG","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":43460252565561,"sku":"WC-GODISTESTINGME-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":43460252598329,"sku":"WC-GODISTESTINGME-SHIRT-2X","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/God_Is_Testing_Me_Shirt.jpg?v=1777390915"},{"product_id":"it-is-what-it-is-shirt","title":"'It Is What It Is' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eAcceptance is the final stage of grief. Might as well get cozy there.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis is resigned optimism at its finest: a little frog, a little mushroom, a little tea, and the quiet acknowledgment that everything is bad but you're going to sit here and deal with it anyway. It's the shirt equivalent of smiling through a disaster, and honestly, people will relate to it harder than they'd like to admit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eEverything's terrible. Buy yourself a treat.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":43460299358265,"sku":"WC-ITISWHATITIS-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":43460299391033,"sku":"WC-ITISWHATITIS-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":43460299423801,"sku":"WC-ITISWHATITIS-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":43460299456569,"sku":"WC-ITISWHATITIS-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":43460299489337,"sku":"WC-ITISWHATITIS-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/It_Is_What_It_Is_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385155"},{"product_id":"no-gods-no-masters-shirt","title":"'No Gods, No Masters' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\"No gods, no masters\" is a classic. Adding \"only honks\" is an improvement no political theorist saw coming but everyone needed. Anarchism needed a mascot and the goose was already doing the work. Geese have never once respected authority. People will either get it instantly or stare at it confused, and both reactions are correct.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eReject hierarchy. Embrace honk. Add to cart.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":43460299980857,"sku":"WC-NOGODSNOMASTERS-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":43460300013625,"sku":"WC-NOGODSNOMASTERS-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":43460300046393,"sku":"WC-NOGODSNOMASTERS-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":43460300079161,"sku":"WC-NOGODSNOMASTERS-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":43460300111929,"sku":"WC-NOGODSNOMASTERS-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/No_Gods_No_Masters_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385172"},{"product_id":"the-horrors-are-never-ending-shirt","title":"'The Horrors Are Never Ending' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThe horrors are, in fact, never ending but you didn't need a shirt to tell you that. You did, however, need a shirt to tell everyone else how you're handling it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis is the unofficial uniform of everyone who's watched the world fall apart and responded by sending memes about it. People will read your chest, exhale through their nose, and say \"honestly, same.\" It's self-aware existential dread in the most wearable format possible. And somehow that's comforting.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThe horrors aren't stopping. Neither should you. Add to cart.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44578480717881,"sku":"WC-HORRORSNEVERENDING-TEE-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44578480750649,"sku":"WC-HORRORSNEVERENDING-TEE-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44578480783417,"sku":"WC-HORRORSNEVERENDING-TEE-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44578480816185,"sku":"WC-HORRORSNEVERENDING-TEE-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44578480848953,"sku":"WC-HORRORSNEVERENDING-TEE-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/The_Horrors_Are_Never_Ending_Shirt_a8da1bff-92f6-4540-9cc3-88037ae0d445.jpg?v=1777937716"},{"product_id":"save-me-a-seat-shirt","title":"'Save Me A Seat' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe goose is not optimistic about the afterlife placement. The goose has, however, already resigned to the outcome and is thinking practically. Hell will be crowded. Hell will have a seating situation. The goose does not want to stand. Do this small kindness for the goose. You'll be there anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who are already planning the logistics of the bad place.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624162259001,"sku":"44624162259001","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624162291769,"sku":"44624162291769","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624162324537,"sku":"44624162324537","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624162357305,"sku":"44624162357305","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624162390073,"sku":"44624162390073","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Save_Me_A_Seat_Shirt_2.jpg?v=1778187074"},{"product_id":"yeah-no-shirt","title":"'Yeah, No' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eClassic frog stew visual. The water is warm, and getting warmer. The frog has noticed and is dealing with it by saying, firmly and unconvincingly, that it's fine. You have said this sentence. You said it this morning. You will say it again before the end of the week.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose default response to anything is \"no, totally, all good.\"\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624169041977,"sku":"44624169041977","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624169074745,"sku":"44624169074745","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624169107513,"sku":"44624169107513","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624169140281,"sku":"44624169140281","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624169173049,"sku":"44624169173049","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Yeah_No_Shirt.jpg?v=1777390934"},{"product_id":"be-kind-of-annoying-shirt","title":"'Be Kind Of Annoying' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eNot a lot annoying. Just a little. Kinda. Just enough that people remember you were there. The opossum has mastered this setting. You don't have to commit to being outright unpleasant: you just have to be \u003cem\u003ejuuust\u003c\/em\u003e enough of a nuisance to be memorable. It's a sweet spot. The opossum lives there. You should visit.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor the people who show up late but bring snacks so it's fine.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624170156089,"sku":"WC-ANNOYING-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624170188857,"sku":"WC-ANNOYING-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624170221625,"sku":"WC-ANNOYING-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624170254393,"sku":"WC-ANNOYING-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624170287161,"sku":"WC-ANNOYING-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Be_Kind_Of_Annoying_Shirt.jpg?v=1777390904"},{"product_id":"to-whom-it-may-concern-shirt","title":"'To Whom It May Concern' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe letter opens formally. The letter concludes clearly. The cat has drafted this. The cat has also re-read and approved it. Diplomatic phrasing and direct demand, side by side. The cat knows how a professional grievance should look. The cat also knows what it actually wants to say.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose out-of-office replies have been workshopped for maximum passive aggression.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624171008057,"sku":"44624171008057","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624171040825,"sku":"44624171040825","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624171073593,"sku":"44624171073593","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624171106361,"sku":"44624171106361","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624171139129,"sku":"44624171139129","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/To_Whom_It_May_Concern_Shirt_2_-_flat_lay.jpg?v=1778187877"},{"product_id":"abandon-my-humanity-shirt","title":"'Abandon My Humanity' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome days you're a functional adult. Some days you're seriously considering becoming a crab. Low center of gravity, no emotional vulnerability, armored on all sides: the arrangement is looking pretty good from here. Let the scuttling begin.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eYou don't have to be a person forever. The option to become a crab remains open.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624172023865,"sku":"44624172023865","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624172056633,"sku":"WC-HUMANITYCRAB-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624172089401,"sku":"WC-HUMANITYCRAB-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624172122169,"sku":"WC-HUMANITYCRAB-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624172154937,"sku":"WC-HUMANITYCRAB-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Abandon_My_Humanity_Shirt.jpg?v=1777406127"},{"product_id":"get-this-bread-shirt","title":"'Get This Bread' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eNo one represents hustle culture better than pigeons. This is the shirt for anyone who's out here grinding but refuses to be serious about it. Wear it to work. Wear it to brunch. Watch people read it twice and then immediately ask where you got it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThe bread isn't going to get itself.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624173137977,"sku":"WC-GETTHISBREAD-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624173170745,"sku":"WC-GETTHISBREAD-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624173203513,"sku":"WC-GETTHISBREAD-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624173236281,"sku":"WC-GETTHISBREAD-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624173269049,"sku":"WC-GETTHISBREAD-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Get_This_Bread_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385144"},{"product_id":"taking-my-leave-shirt","title":"'Taking My Leave' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eYou said the weird thing. Everyone heard it. Now it's time to go. If you've ever texted \"sorry if that was weird\" more than once in a week, this shirt is already yours spiritually — you're just making it official. People will read it and immediately think of a specific moment in their own life. That's how you know it works.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eYou've made it awkward. Might as well memorialize it with a shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624173891641,"sku":"WC-TAKINGMYLEAVE-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624173924409,"sku":"WC-TAKINGMYLEAVE-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624173957177,"sku":"WC-TAKINGMYLEAVE-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624173989945,"sku":"WC-TAKINGMYLEAVE-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624174022713,"sku":"WC-TAKINGMYLEAVE-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Taking_My_Leave_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385189"},{"product_id":"anguish-shirt","title":"'Anguish' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eA pigeon, captioned with a single devastating word. Nothing could portray anguish better than this pigeon. If you look up 'anguish' in the encyclopedia, there's a picture of this pigeon. If you look up 'pigeon' in the encyclopedia, there's a picture of some other pigeon because this particular pigeon's special due to its unique emotional depth of suffering. No one's going through it harder than this pigeon.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eBe the pigeon. Feel the anguish. Buy the shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624174317625,"sku":"44624174317625","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624174350393,"sku":"44624174350393","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624174383161,"sku":"44624174383161","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624174415929,"sku":"44624174415929","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624174448697,"sku":"44624174448697","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Anguish_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385129"},{"product_id":"full-of-microplastics-shirt","title":"'Full of Microplastics' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe frog is cute and also 12% plastic by volume. Same as you. Same as every living thing that has consumed food or breathed air in the last forty years. The existential dread is a bonus feature that ships with the microplastics. You didn't sign up for either but here you both are: lightly contaminated, holding it together, being adorable.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who have accepted the bioaccumulation and are choosing to remain charming.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624176185401,"sku":"44624176185401","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624176218169,"sku":"44624176218169","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624176250937,"sku":"44624176250937","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624176283705,"sku":"44624176283705","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624176316473,"sku":"44624176316473","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Full_of_Microplastics_Shirt.jpg?v=1777402602"},{"product_id":"a-silly-goose-shirt","title":"'A Silly Goose' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis goose used to be silly. Then the economy happened. Now the goose has reading glasses, a newspaper subscription, and is tracking macro indicators instead of chasing bread crumbs. This goose doesn't have time to be silly any more, this goose has obligations.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor everyone who's still a silly goose at heart, even if they have too many responsibilities right now to let it show.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624176775225,"sku":"44624176775225","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624176807993,"sku":"44624176807993","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624176840761,"sku":"44624176840761","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624176873529,"sku":"44624176873529","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624176906297,"sku":"44624176906297","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/A_Silly_Goose_Shirt.jpg?v=1777402589"},{"product_id":"howdy-dickheads-shirt","title":"'Howdy, Dickheads' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe frog arrives on the scene with a cowboy hat, a cactus, and a greeting. The greeting is technically hostile. The frog is affectionate about it. In the frog's world, \"dickheads\" is the honorific you use for the people you actually like. The frog knows its audience. You, reading this, have been greeted.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose close friends get roasted daily, and who consider that the highest form of devotion.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624177299513,"sku":"WC-HOWDYDICKHEADS-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624177332281,"sku":"WC-HOWDYDICKHEADS-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624177365049,"sku":"WC-HOWDYDICKHEADS-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624177397817,"sku":"WC-HOWDYDICKHEADS-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624177430585,"sku":"WC-HOWDYDICKHEADS-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Howdy_Dickheads_Shirt.jpg?v=1777417445"},{"product_id":"staying-hydrated-shirt","title":"'Staying Hydrated' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis raccoon is not doing wellness. This raccoon is doing strategy. Every glass of water is a commitment to longevity. The plan is to simply remain on earth after certain specific people have left it. Petty? Yes. Effective? Also yes. Eight glasses a day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose self-care is competitive.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624182575161,"sku":"WC-STAYHYDRATE-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624182607929,"sku":"WC-STAYHYDRATE-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624182640697,"sku":"WC-STAYHYDRATE-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624182673465,"sku":"WC-STAYHYDRATE-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624182706233,"sku":"WC-STAYHYDRATE-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Staying_Hydrated_Shirt_2b480892-8287-4ae6-96bb-30a0ef2cdca8.jpg?v=1777412205"},{"product_id":"reject-modernity-shirt","title":"'Reject Modernity' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eModernity wanted you in an ergonomic chair with a skincare routine and a retirement plan. The goblin proposed an alternative: a hole, a weird object, and no responsibilities. The goblin won. The rest of us are just catching up. Ergonomics are out. Being a little creature is in.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose ideal evening involves a hoard and some gentle cackling.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624183820345,"sku":"WC-REJECTMODERNITY-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624183853113,"sku":"WC-REJECTMODERNITY-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624183885881,"sku":"WC-REJECTMODERNITY-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624183918649,"sku":"WC-REJECTMODERNITY-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624183951417,"sku":"WC-REJECTMODERNITY-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Reject_Modernity_Shirt.jpg?v=1777390921"},{"product_id":"yes-im-creative-shirt","title":"'Yes, I'm Creative' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe opossum paints. It sculpts. More notably, it's an absolute genius at generating new personal catastrophes where none previously existed. Some call it a curse. The opossum prefers \"art practice.\" Its latest work is a complicated situation no one asked for.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose creative output is mostly just handmade chaos.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44624184967225,"sku":"WC-YESIMCREATIVE-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44624184999993,"sku":"WC-YESIMCREATIVE-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44624185032761,"sku":"WC-YESIMCREATIVE-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44624185065529,"sku":"WC-YESIMCREATIVE-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44624185098297,"sku":"WC-YESIMCREATIVE-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Yes_I_m_Creative_Shirt.jpg?v=1777390936"},{"product_id":"countless-horrors-shirt","title":"'Countless Horrors' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThe world is a nightmare but there's mozzarella sticks at the end of it, so here we are.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis is the life philosophy no one asked you to put on a shirt, but honestly it needed to be said. We're all just rats in an eldritch hellscape chasing whatever our cheese is. And the ones who know it are funnier than the ones who don't. This shirt tells people exactly where your priorities are. They'll respect it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThe horrors aren't going anywhere. The cheese won't wait forever.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712783020089,"sku":"44712783020089","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712783052857,"sku":"44712783052857","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712783085625,"sku":"44712783085625","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712783118393,"sku":"44712783118393","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712783151161,"sku":"44712783151161","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Countless_Horrors_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385140"},{"product_id":"got-that-dog-shirt","title":"'Got That Dog' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003e\"Got that dog in me\" is a bold claim from someone whose top speed maxes out at 0.2 mph.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThis design gets you: the grindset energy of a creature that takes 45 minutes to cross a yard. If you've ever described yourself as \"motivated\" while still in bed at 2pm, this is your shirt. Expect people to read it, look at the turtle, and laugh harder than they expected to.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eYou'll get to the checkout eventually. No rush.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712783183929,"sku":"WC-GOTTHATDOG-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712783216697,"sku":"WC-GOTTHATDOG-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712783249465,"sku":"WC-GOTTHATDOG-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712783282233,"sku":"WC-GOTTHATDOG-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712783315001,"sku":"WC-GOTTHATDOG-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Got_That_Dog_Shirt_bdc482be-3242-42a8-904a-f441dc3cc111.jpg?v=1777385593"},{"product_id":"fake-your-death-shirt","title":"'Fake Your Death' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eOpossums have been doing this for millennia. Play dead, the predator loses interest, life continues. This opossum has updated the technique for modern threats: get hit by a car, become legally undead, transcend bureaucracy. An elegant solution. Full commitment to the bit. A masterclass in dodging your responsibilities.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose fight-or-flight response skipped both and went straight to opossum protocol.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712783347769,"sku":"WC-FAKEYOURDEATH-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712783380537,"sku":"WC-FAKEYOURDEATH-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712783413305,"sku":"WC-FAKEYOURDEATH-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712783446073,"sku":"WC-FAKEYOURDEATH-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712783478841,"sku":"WC-FAKEYOURDEATH-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Fake_Your_Death_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385142"},{"product_id":"may-be-dumb-shirt","title":"'May Be Dumb' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eThe most honest thing you'll wear all week. There's a confidence to admitting this publicly. It's disarming, it's stupid in the best way, and you already know at least three people in your life who need one too.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eYou may be dumb. But you're not too dumb to hit add to cart.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712783544377,"sku":"WC-MAYBEDUMB-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712783577145,"sku":"WC-MAYBEDUMB-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712783609913,"sku":"WC-MAYBEDUMB-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712783642681,"sku":"WC-MAYBEDUMB-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712783675449,"sku":"WC-MAYBEDUMB-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/May_Be_Dumb_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385164"},{"product_id":"overstepped-my-boundaries-shirt","title":"'Overstepped My Boundaries' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe goose has crossed a line. The goose is aware of this. Rather than apologize, the goose has decided to frame the incident as \"being a silly goose.\" Everyone knows what the goose did. The goose's defense is disarmingly cute. Somehow, it's going to work. It always does.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose go-to apology is \"oopsie\" and who have weaponized being harmless-looking.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712783708217,"sku":"WC-OVERSTEPPEDBOUNDARIES-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712783740985,"sku":"WC-OVERSTEPPEDBOUNDARIES-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712783773753,"sku":"WC-OVERSTEPPEDBOUNDARIES-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712783806521,"sku":"WC-OVERSTEPPEDBOUNDARIES-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712783839289,"sku":"WC-OVERSTEPPEDBOUNDARIES-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Overstepped_My_Boundaries_Shirt.jpg?v=1777402610"},{"product_id":"videographic-entertainment-shirt","title":"'Videographic Entertainment' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe rabbit has tried eating in silence. It found it unbearable. The rabbit now requires, at minimum, an episode of something playing on a second screen in order to digest. This is not weakness. This is the modern condition. Silent meals are for monks. The rabbit is not a monk.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who cannot remember the last time they ate without something playing in the background.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712784035897,"sku":"WC-VIDEOENTER-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712784068665,"sku":"WC-VIDEOENTER-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712784101433,"sku":"WC-VIDEOENTER-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712784134201,"sku":"WC-VIDEOENTER-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712784166969,"sku":"WC-VIDEOENTER-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Videographic_Entertainment_Shirt.jpg?v=1777402628"},{"product_id":"dont-worry-shirt","title":"'Don't Worry' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe frog is serene. It's also deeply aware that nothing is going to plan, everything is a little on fire, and nobody in charge knows what they're doing. The frog has made peace with it, and so can you. Control is a story we tell ourselves. The frog knows this and the frog is fine. You'll also be fine. Eventually. Probably.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who let go of the wheel a long time ago and noticed the car kept driving.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712784232505,"sku":"44712784232505","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712784265273,"sku":"44712784265273","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712784298041,"sku":"44712784298041","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712784330809,"sku":"44712784330809","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712784363577,"sku":"44712784363577","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Don_t_Worry_Shirt.png?v=1777295991"},{"product_id":"failure-is-an-option-shirt","title":"'Failure Is An Option' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe word NOT is crossed out. The opossum is being honest. Failure IS an option, and the opossum will be selecting it today, but not without effort. There will be a brief attempt, there will be trying. The attempt will, statistically, fall short. You've been there. You've given it a go. Nobody can say you didn't show up.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who understand that showing up is 80% of the battle, and that's where we stopped counting.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712784724025,"sku":"WC-FAILUREISANOPTION-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712784756793,"sku":"WC-FAILUREISANOPTION-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712784789561,"sku":"WC-FAILUREISANOPTION-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712784822329,"sku":"WC-FAILUREISANOPTION-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712784855097,"sku":"WC-FAILUREISANOPTION-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Failure_Is_An_Option_Shirt.jpg?v=1777390910"},{"product_id":"shackles-of-society-shirt","title":"'Shackles of Society' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe crab is philosophically correct. It has identified the chains. The crab, tragically, is still clipped by the claw, still at the seafood counter, still very much in the system. Freedom is a concept the crab understands intellectually and will not be achieving today. Same, honestly.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who are working within a structure they do not respect, because alternatives are limited.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712785051705,"sku":"WC-SHACKLESOFSOCIETY-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712785084473,"sku":"WC-SHACKLESOFSOCIETY-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712785117241,"sku":"WC-SHACKLESOFSOCIETY-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712785150009,"sku":"WC-SHACKLESOFSOCIETY-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712785182777,"sku":"WC-SHACKLESOFSOCIETY-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Shackles_of_Society_Shirt.jpg?v=1777417449"},{"product_id":"thanks-your-honor-shirt","title":"'Thanks Your Honor' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe frog is in court. It's been found guilty. Rather than fight the ruling, the frog has offered a quick apology: sincere in tone, suspicious in detail, and almost certainly a lie. The court knows. The frog knows the court knows. Everyone is being very polite about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose apologies have a certain wink-and-nod quality, for reasons they'd rather not get into.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712785215545,"sku":"WC-THANKSYOURHONOR-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712785248313,"sku":"WC-THANKSYOURHONOR-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712785281081,"sku":"WC-THANKSYOURHONOR-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712785313849,"sku":"WC-THANKSYOURHONOR-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712785346617,"sku":"WC-THANKSYOURHONOR-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Thanks_Your_Honor_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385191"},{"product_id":"botched-the-ritual-shirt","title":"'Botched The Ritual' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou followed the instructions. Mostly. The candles were correct. The chant was approximately right. What emerged is fine, honestly. It has teeth. It answers when you call. It's polite. A little snaggle-fanged around the edges. Not what was promised but you've grown attached.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSilly guys do silly rituals. The important thing is that you tried.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712785379385,"sku":"44712785379385","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712785412153,"sku":"44712785412153","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712785444921,"sku":"44712785444921","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712785477689,"sku":"44712785477689","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712785510457,"sku":"44712785510457","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Botched_The_Ritual_Shirt.jpg?v=1777402594"},{"product_id":"keep-me-entertained-shirt","title":"'Keep Me Entertained' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis hyena has problems. Many of them. Rather than fight the trend, he's decided to reframe the entire situation: if the ordeals are going to keep arriving, the ordeals might as well be hobbies. Get a load of this one, it's absurd. The next one is even stupider. This hyena is chronicling his ordeals to write his memoir. The memoir will sell.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who've started narrating their own bad luck in a documentary voice.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712785575993,"sku":"44712785575993","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712785608761,"sku":"44712785608761","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712785641529,"sku":"44712785641529","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712785674297,"sku":"44712785674297","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712785707065,"sku":"44712785707065","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Keep_Me_Entertained_Shirt.jpg?v=1777402606"},{"product_id":"reject-humanity-shirt","title":"'Reject Humanity' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe plan is simple. Phase one: humanity. Phase two: crab. This creature is between phases, already convinced of the direction. Everything humans do is exhausting. Everything crabs do is walking sideways and vibing. The crab phase is clearly the upgrade. Get in while the molting is good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who have done the math and found crabs doing better at this.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44712785739833,"sku":"WC-REJECTHUMANITY-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44712785772601,"sku":"WC-REJECTHUMANITY-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44712785805369,"sku":"WC-REJECTHUMANITY-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44712785838137,"sku":"WC-REJECTHUMANITY-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44712785870905,"sku":"WC-REJECTHUMANITY-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Reject_Humanity_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385179"},{"product_id":"accursed-flesh-shirt","title":"'Accursed Flesh' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eCrumbs: no thank you. Stale bagel: no thank you. Thrown sandwich crust: NO THANK YOU. This pigeon has developed standards. This pigeon wants flesh. It has had a long think about where it's at in life and has decided it would like to be feared. There is nothing you can do about it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor the pigeon-watchers who always suspected there was something more going on.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44806901497913,"sku":"44806901497913","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44806901530681,"sku":"44806901530681","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44806901563449,"sku":"44806901563449","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44806901596217,"sku":"44806901596217","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44806901628985,"sku":"44806901628985","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Accursed_Flesh_Shirt.jpg?v=1777402591"},{"product_id":"evil-by-choice-shirt","title":"'Evil By Choice' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eNo excuses, no tragic backstory making this inevitable. Not even a trauma response dressed up as a personality. This creature opted in to evil for pure love of the game. Looked at the options, picked this one, and stomping continues on purpose.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who are sick of everyone blaming their star sign.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44806907134009,"sku":"WC-EVILBYCHOICE-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44806907166777,"sku":"WC-EVILBYCHOICE-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44806907199545,"sku":"WC-EVILBYCHOICE-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44806907232313,"sku":"WC-EVILBYCHOICE-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44806907265081,"sku":"WC-EVILBYCHOICE-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/CopyofCopyofUntitledDesign-114.png?v=1756134691"},{"product_id":"harbinger-of-awkward-situations-shirt","title":"'Harbinger of Awkward Situations' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eSome harbingers announce doom, plague, the end of empires. This one announces that you're about to run into your ex at the grocery store while holding a weird item. Lesser demons, same disruptive energy. The spectral presence graces you with foreknowledge, but not the kind that helps. At best you can brace. At worst you can hum and hope it passes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who can feel a dreadful conversation approaching from across a parking lot.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44806912868409,"sku":"WC-HARBINGER-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44806912901177,"sku":"WC-HARBINGER-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44806912933945,"sku":"WC-HARBINGER-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44806912966713,"sku":"WC-HARBINGER-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44806912999481,"sku":"WC-HARBINGER-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Harbinger_of_Awkward_Situations_Shirt.jpg?v=1777402604"},{"product_id":"offer-my-sanity-shirt","title":"'Offer My Sanity' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eClassic deal. A cosmic entity wants your mind. You want the secrets of the universe. The capybara has agreed to the terms. The capybara will return forever changed, knowing things no capybara should know, content with the trade. Capybaras have always been wiser than the rest of us. They took the deal first.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who are chasing a piece of knowledge that will definitely make them weirder when they find it.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44806914080825,"sku":"WC-OFFERSANITY-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44806914113593,"sku":"WC-OFFERSANITY-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44806914146361,"sku":"WC-OFFERSANITY-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44806914179129,"sku":"WC-OFFERSANITY-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44806914211897,"sku":"WC-OFFERSANITY-2X","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Offer_My_Sanity_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385175"},{"product_id":"simply-freestyling-shirt","title":"'Simply Freestyling' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eYou have a process. The process may, to outside observers, look chaotic. You would like to clarify: the chaos is the style. The destruction is improvised. The monster isn't lost, the monster is creating. Art exists. This is some of it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n  \u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people whose chosen genre is \"making it up as they go, loudly.\"\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44806914310201,"sku":"44806914310201","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44806914342969,"sku":"44806914342969","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44806914375737,"sku":"44806914375737","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44806914408505,"sku":"44806914408505","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44806914441273,"sku":"44806914441273","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Simply_Freestyling_Shirt_cfb01eb3-4285-414e-9641-8b7b26a64329.jpg?v=1778017989"},{"product_id":"voices-empower-me-shirt","title":"'Voices Empower Me' Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThis flamingo has been told the voices are a problem. He disagrees. The voices are, in fact, the flamingo's primary source of professional advice, moral support, and bit ideas. Silencing the voices would be self-sabotage. The flamingo would like everyone to mind their business.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFor people who have chosen to collaborate with the intrusive thoughts instead of fight them.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44806914474041,"sku":"WC-VOICESEMPOWERME-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44806914506809,"sku":"WC-VOICESEMPOWERME-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44806914539577,"sku":"WC-VOICESEMPOWERME-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44806914572345,"sku":"WC-VOICESEMPOWERME-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44806914605113,"sku":"WC-VOICESEMPOWERME-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/CopyofCopyofUntitledDesign-118.png?v=1756134710"},{"product_id":"believe-in-myself-shirt","title":"'Believe In Myself' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eSelf-belief is a hard sell when you're the one who keeps making the decisions.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eEvery motivational poster tells you to believe in yourself, but nobody accounts for the fact that you're the common denominator in all your worst situations. This shirt gets that. People will read it, laugh, and then get a little too quiet because it hit close to home. That's how you know it's good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eTreat yourself to this shirt. Trust me. Look where trusting yourself has gotten you.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44898901229625,"sku":"WC-BELIEVEINMYSELF-SHIRT-S","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44898901262393,"sku":"WC-BELIEVEINMYSELF-SHIRT-M","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44898901295161,"sku":"WC-BELIEVEINMYSELF-SHIRT-L","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44898901327929,"sku":"WC-BELIEVEINMYSELF-SHIRT-XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44898901360697,"sku":"WC-BELIEVEINMYSELF-SHIRT-2XL","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Believe_In_Myself_Shirt.jpg?v=1777385131"},{"product_id":"carbonara-capybara-shirt","title":"'Carbonara Capybara' Shirt","description":"\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eLook, you know what the animal is actually called. The shirt knows what the animal is actually called. It's called a capybara and it deserves your love and respect. But \"carbonara\" is funnier, and being confidently wrong about something this harmless is one of life's small pleasures.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cul class=\"[li_\u0026amp;]:mb-0 [li_\u0026amp;]:mt-1 [li_\u0026amp;]:gap-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ul]:pb-1 [\u0026amp;:not(:last-child)_ol]:pb-1 list-disc flex flex-col gap-1 pl-8 mb-3\"\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eSoft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eScreen-printed in the USA with premium ink\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli class=\"whitespace-normal break-words pl-2\"\u003eMachine wash cold, tumble dry low\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"font-claude-response-body break-words whitespace-normal leading-[1.7]\"\u003eYou love this animal. You know you love this animal. Get the shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"BRAND NEW","offers":[{"title":"Small","offer_id":44898902179897,"sku":"44898902179897","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Medium","offer_id":44898902212665,"sku":"44898902212665","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Large","offer_id":44898902245433,"sku":"44898902245433","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"X-Large","offer_id":44898902278201,"sku":"44898902278201","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL","offer_id":44898902310969,"sku":"44898902310969","price":33.0,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/files\/Carbonara_Capybara_Shirt_52d14309-fc68-49a3-9439-705277af63b6.jpg?v=1777937650"}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0251\/5984\/collections\/It_Is_What_It_Is.jpg?v=1777422955","url":"https:\/\/www.wickedclothes.com\/collections\/animals.oembed","provider":"Wicked Clothes","version":"1.0","type":"link"}